Roller Coasters

I had a difficult weekend. Not a bad weekend, just a difficult one. I know that may seem contrary or self-conflicting, but I assure you the accuracy. I’ve had quite literally crippling pain for over a week now due to my oh so wonderful back. I’ve pushed through because I got shit to do and ain’t nobody got time for that. As such, I decided that having a bit of downtime and not pushing myself to complete one of the many current projects. I really wanted to hit the junkyard and grab a few more parts to dress up the car, but I could barely manage walking my tools to the car. I knew I wouldn’t last the walk to the imports, much less working to remove and carry out parts.

I decided I would spend my Saturday morning at my favourite hobby, Cars and Coffee. Sadly, turns out, the Cars and Coffee that happens here at Shelby America is exceptionally boring and unsatisfying. I figured Vegas would have a far more robust car community, but I haven’t found it, yet. I grew accustomed to the typical parking lot filled with dozens of cars, from Porche, Lamborghini, classic muscle, to ratrodded turbo hoopties, and the newest models available.

Instead, I get about the same 10 new model Mustangs, a few Corvettes, and a few Camaros. Last weekend a Camaro car club showed up and brought about 5 cars with them.

Woo. Much excite. Such car.

I struggled emotionally. Hard. From the night’s sleep, to my mood for the day. Saturday wrecked me. I had my normal of lucid dreaming, but emotionally heavy and burdensome. I woke up hurting and I don’t mean my back. The core of my being ached and yearned. I had nobody to talk to and explain all the thoughts and emotions running through my body and mind. Anxiety and mood disorders encompass physiological effects as much as the psychological. Basically, a panic attack dumps so much adrenaline and response-hormones that the physical crash afterwards can leave you exhausted. It feels like jumping on the biggest rollercoaster in the amusement park, while sitting perfectly still and you can do nothing about it. 

Yeah, it feels like that. Strapped into a ride you can’t control, only get on through to the other side.