The Darkness and The Weakness - The Light, The Fight, The Quietness

That moment
for just a few short seconds
that feel like minutes
put on pause
realizing
the forgetting
your ex’s phone number
that you dialed countless times
that you recited in your head
over and over
that formed the sweetest of words
that sang when you first dialed it
that you had to have
someone else delete from your phone
because you couldn’t 

Sit there
empty
blank
vast
accepting
of your life
of this moment
of the current
pushing you
towards people and places
you never imagined
meeting or seeing
no longer fighting to
wrest your heart
from the jester thinking
he knows best
at the bottom
of your chest 

Just…
be
exist
feel
the lightness
with every look
skyward
with every breath
inward
with every step
backward

And then
your mind reels
your heart sinks
back down
buoyed
on the precipice
of tranquility and madness
of laughter and sobs
of orgasms and heartbreaks
your mind scrambles
to recall
recount
reclaim
a memory
a moment
a slipping
from intertwined limbs
like fingers 

Suddenly
everything becomes
still
quiet
frozen
vibrant
with a molecular consciousness
every breath feels laborious
every blink longer than the last
every heartbeat a prisoner
pounding bloodied hands
on caged walls
screaming
for sanctuary
for sacrifice
for sanctimonious pretentiousness
until words crumble
falter and fade
into breathless sighs
of exasperation
of exhaustion
of exaltation

With monkish palms turned
with an ethereal light
with psalms and hymns
that at once
caress
soothe
burn away
old scars
with the tenderness
of a sunburn.