You Talk Like Yourself, But You're Somebody Else

“How far do you go for someone before you just can’t come back?” - Xana

Shit. Well, isn’t that the question of the hour? At a certain point of bonding with people, you incorporate them into your identity. I’ve heard people say, “You are the people you associate with.” I find that tends to hold true. Some of the people of my past did not contribute in a positive or beneficial manner. Rather, they detracted and distracted me from my focus and goals. I’ve also heard that people tend to pick up the sayings and word usage of those around them to create mutual language and communication. This evidently overlaps to non-verbal since that constitutes the vast majority of how humans communicate to each other.

All of those little cues and normalized behaviours transform your sense of self over time. I wouldn’t go so far as to say you become someone else, but toxic partners can stifle a person. The target of a toxic partner, whether intentional or incidental, adapts to the environment for survival of life or the relationship. Anyone who has experienced domestic or intimate partner violence can attest to the defense mechanisms needed and employed with regularity. For myself, I know that it caused me to stop writing, playing guitar, and generally pursuing my hobbies and passions. At that point of my life, I felt that preserving a relationship amounted to the highest priority and importance. Everything revolved around it.

Everything crashed around it, too.

And when it crumbled, oh boy, so did I. Even then, crumble feels like it still has too much consistency and stability.

Pizza. Fresh hot pizza. Fresh hot pizza that fell out of the box face down onto the cheese and sauce splatters all over your clothes, shoes, and car.