Dyllan James

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Undated, Untitled (circa early 2015)

I. AM. TERIFFIED .

NOT BECASE I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. WHICH I DON’T, BUT RATHER FOR THE THINGS WHICH I FEEL I MUST DIVEST AND EXPOSE TO THE LIGHT OF DAY. I DO NOT KNOW AT WHICH POINT TO BEGIN THIS JOURNEY NOT WHERE IT SHALL END.  

IN THE COURSE OF MY LIFE THERE HAS BEEN THREE CONSTANT GREAT LOVES: MUSIC AND WOMEN (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER), BUT ABOVE ALL, THE PURSUIT FOR WISDOM, CLARITY, AND AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE WORLD IN A WAY THAT THOSE AROUND ME HAVE NEITHER FULLY UNDERSTOOD NOR APPRECIEATED. 

BUT HOW CAN I EXPECT OTHER TO COMPREHEND SOMETHING THAT I MYSELF STRUGGLE TO CONTAIN? SOMETHING THAT HAS A MEAN WHICH STILL ALLUDES ME?  

I CAN THINK OF A FEW EXAMPLES IN WHICH ALL THREE PASSIONS HAVE COALESCED INTO AN IDEA, AN OPPORTUNITY, A PERSON, AN OBJECT THRUST INTO EXISTENCE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO TRANSCEND COMPREHENSION AND YET EXCITE SUCH ATTRACTION AND INTRIGUE TO KNOW THAT THAT MOMENT WILL LIVE ON IN MEMOREY PERMANENTLY ETCHED INTO THE WALL OF CONSCIOUSNESS.  

THESE ARE THE MOMENTS THAT WE CARRY WITH US SOMETIMES FOR NO APPARENT REASON AS THE MOMENT CONTAINS NO INTRINSIC, ALTRUISTIC SIGNIFICANCE OVER THE COURSE OR PROGRESSION OF OUR LIVES. 

AND YET, THAT GLANCE, THAT SMELL, THAT INTANGIBLE SOMETHING THAT EXISTS FOREVER JUST OUTSIDE THE GRASP OF OUR FARTHEST EXTENDED FINGERTIPS. IT LINGERS IN THE BACK OF THE MIND AND, NO MATTER WHAT EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS SUBSECUENTLY TRANSPIRE, REMAIN ACCESSIBLE AS FRAGMENTED BRAIN IMPULSES WHICH INSTANTLY TRANSPORT US BACK EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY, PSYCHICALLY TO THE ORIGINAL FORMATION OF THE MENTAL MONOLITH.