Nearly missed today.

I had ideas earlier about what I wanted to discuss today. The horrors of living in a mortal tomb befuddles the brain. Or at least it fucking should if you’re paying attention. I understand the desire so many folks have to seek solace, support, and sustenance from a higher power, an omnipotent being, the all-knowing, gravitational pull, planetary alignments.

It make sense. Spending your life searching for meaning and truth has always struck to the core of human experience. Trying to cope with phenomena of Anticipatory Anxiety (stress caused by the inability to know the future) isn’t something I find people willing to talk about very often. Society tends to romanticize the concept of sitting down with an intimate person and sharing dreams of the future. House, marriage, kids, serial murder spree, vampire hunting; experiences normalized in media but not always found in life.

Sitting down with someone and expressing the fears that cannot be answered with the knowledge and understanding that even the strongest beliefs are beliefs and faith rather than knowledge or understanding. Cyclical wording aside, the words “belief and faith” inherently reveal the lack of truth in favor of trust. It’s the difference between reading a book yourself and knowing what it says compared to having someone tell you what happens in the book and trusting their word.

I’m not here to judge one way or the other as I clearly and evidently do not and cannot know the end-all, be-all, ultimate…all truth.

So many people boil the entire discussion down to questioning the belief in a societal normative concept of a god. In reality, life is a far more complex concoction and full three-course meal. I want to find more people that want to sit and discuss the hardest question(s) in life.

How does it feel to know the world will continue living after we die? How does it feel to know we will never know the future? How does it feel to inhabit the same vessel and cope with the reality of never being able to revisit your memories?